All the mommas

Dear Mom reading a facebook post...questioning her choices OR questioning someone elses choices,

Let this serve as a reminder to you. There are moms who vaccinate and moms who don't...there are also moms who fall in between. You women are strong and you are wise.

There are moms of intact little boys, moms who circumcise, moms with one of each, or moms who regret their choice no matter what it was. You women are strong and you are wise.

There are moms who formula feed from birth and there are moms who refuse to even let a pacifier enter their child's breathing space until they are 6 months old. BOTH of those women are strong and BOTH of those women are wise. There are also moms who spent countless hours in tears hiding in shame in the corner of their nurseries trying to figure out nipple shields and breastfeeding covers. Trying to understand why their breasts felt soft and their babies were crying but someone told them "just keep trying....our bodies are made to do this." Sometimes, village, our bodies are not. You women are strong and you are wise. There are flaws in natures design and we must remember that. There are moms who chose donors and nurse with an SNS. Praise you women...you are strong and you are wise.

There are Moms who take their 6 weeks begrudgingly and hurry back to work. You women are strong and you women are wise. You know you need that to be the best mom you can be. Some moms beg and plead for more time and don't get it and STILL have to go back to work. They drop their little babies off at daycare and are forced to trust someone to love and care for this little human that they have LITERALLY SPENT their entire life growing. You women are strong and you are wise.

There are moms that cannot bear the thought of someone else being responsible for their child's education, some moms count down the minute until they can send their kids to kindergarten, some mommas fall in between. They cry the day they drop them off but revel in the silence when they come home. You all are strong and you all are wise.

Some moms yell. Some moms count backward from 10. Some moms journal. Some moms go to therapy. Some moms sit at the table with their kids and take  45 minutes explaining what happened, why they are mad, what they should do differently next time. Guess what? You are all strong and you are all wise.

Some moms drive past a McDonalds and think "eh what the hell" and they drive through while their kids scream happily in the backseat about chicken nuggets and french fries. Some Moms drive past a McDonalds and think "that would be SO much easier...". Some Moms drive past a McDonalds and think "GROSS! I cannot put that trash inside my child's body" Some Moms drive past a McDonalds and pull into a chain restaurants parking lot, walk in and order their kids chicken nuggets and think "at least I didnt go to McDonalds". Some Moms drive past McDonalds, straight home and hand craft quinoa nuggets for their kids. You are all strong....and you are all wise.

 When getting ready for birth some Momma's proudly proclaim they cannot wait for the drugs. GIMMIE THE JUICE. Some mommas spend hours, weeks, months researching every single detail of the birthing process....and in the end they seek some sort of medicinal pain relief. Some mommas wing it and end up with no pain relief what so ever. Each of those mommas has their own feelings about their birthing journey. Some love it. Some hate it. Some have more kids JUST so they can give birth again. Some proclaim they will never, ever birth again, ever. You know what? You are all strong and you are all wise.

You see...social media moms....we are all birds of the same beautiful feather. We, as some point, gave life to another human being. We grew them. We nourish them in one way or another. We kiss booboos, wipe tears, dance in the living room, put on time out, spend hours with bloodshot eyes in the ER because WE SWEAR that fever is not JUST teething...it cannot possibly be. We wake up in the middle of the night...poo smeared all over everything. There is even poo in the next room...how did it get there? We will never know. We go through food slumps where our kids diets consist of Mac N cheese and half chewed gum from movie theater chairs. We go through highs where whipping up a quick batch of "toddler muffins" is" totes no big deal for us/" We go through pride, we go through regret, we go through trials and tribulations, highs and lows. We go through it all. We are responsible for life...LIFE. That is A LOT of pressure. Its a wonder we don't spontaneously combust.

Moms we are each a phoenix in our own right. We are burned everyday by our own self judgement. Then, because we are strong and we are willful and we are the single most powerful beings on planet Earth...we rise again with a fire inside that cannot be contained.

Remember this, my sweet village, never let anyone hurt your Phoenix. Not even yourself.

You are strong and you are wise.